what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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