I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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