I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got inside last night via doggy door
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
