You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
