Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
a search helicopter?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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