I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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