I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
