Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
