I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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