If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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