would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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