Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
