dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
