i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
