is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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