Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
