gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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