There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
too bad you live with your parents still
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
