we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
