what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you had me at cake vodka
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
