i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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