I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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