I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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