Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
