you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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