So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
