What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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