she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
