Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The uberlube is also flammable
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
