she woke up with a sticky ear
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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