i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
