I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
