So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize