I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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