my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
