i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
