dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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