i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
