I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
time to smoke my breakfast
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
