Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Whiskey dick.

(810): View more from Michigan

Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

(417): View more from Missouri

Everyday of my life.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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(772): View more from Florida

No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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(925): View more from California

It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch

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