Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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(415): View more from California

I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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(530): View more from California

Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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(260): View more from Indiana

Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.

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(301): View more from Maryland

The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden

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