So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
