u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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