The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
