so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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