i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
