she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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