is your mom at the bar?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
