Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize