i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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