I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
