whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
how does that bad decision feel?
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