so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
