So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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