those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
