garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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