Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.