I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
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Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker