Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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