do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
